exqueeze me

Hullo.
I'm trying to find another job at the minute, and being greatly hindered by the fact that I have no idea what I want to do. I'm going for testing jobs (one of which I think I'll get if I want it), but now I'm also vaguely looking at financial planning jobs. It's hard to know whether or not I'd enjoy either of these two things, and part of my motivation here, it has to be said, is salary prospects.
Actually, I think financial planning could be quite interesting, am I wrong? It would suit my obsession with money, I would imagine. I'd need to do a course first. It's a bit expensive, and would mean 8 days off work. It's hard to say "I'm taking a week off to study so I can quit". I don't know, maybe I'll just go with the testing job.
Sigh.

Hello Christine

This post is for Christine. Hello!

Seeing as you are the only one who reads this, I may as well use it as a private channel of communication.

By the way, being called pathetic is not rendered unhurtful by the addition of a colon and a capital P. :P

tripe

Huh. Just reading over this blog for the first time in ages. What a load of crap.

Whatever

It's the loneliness and the boredom that kills you. After so long, my spirit is withered and sad and my mind numb and deadened. I feel the weight of empty time pulling me into it's soft muffled depths and draining me of all my energy and life. Silence fills my head, ringing with regrets, what-ifs, private miseries, and snatches of television. Time passes, but as each moment is the same as the last, it makes no difference. The world must continue apace, somewhere, but I am no part of it, stuck in my coccoon of empty nothingness, the inertia of my plight growing alongside a steadily worsening apathy.

In other words, I need a life.

The chop

So January is over already. We are one twelfth of the way to the next new year, and I've acheived nothing so far. Perhaps I should go by the Chinese calendar, in which case the new year starts...tomorrow? And it's the year of the dog this time around. The same year as I was born, so perhaps that bodes well. Or ill. If you believe in that sort of thing, anyway.

I had a moment of perspective today, though. Thinking of how big a year is and how much we have left, I experienced, almost, a moment in which I had a bigger view of things. Like I was looking at my life from the outside. It didn't last very long, so I unfortunately did not gain any particular curls of wisdom. Anything I can say will no doubt have been said before anyway.

I can say this, though. I wish I could live in that state constantly. Forever viewing things impartially and detachedly. I suspect things would be far less difficult, although maybe a little more boring. I'd just love to have no emotional investment in things. Not to care about little things that currently get me so upset. Maybe I should just amputate the emotional centres of my brain.

First comes love, then comes...

I've just been perusing the Sunday paper (on the web, of course), and came across quite an interesting opinion article on the subject of gay marriage. Although this is topical only in a sort of constant sense, I do have opinions on the issue, so I thought I might just add some comments of my own. If you want to read the article in question, it's here.

Strangely, the author seems to be arguing that allowing same-sex couples to marry will be beneficial to the institution of marriage. It's an interesting approach, trying to garner support from those people who hold marriage to be some sort of hallowed thing, but in my opinion it's missing the point. Those people shouldn't be pandered to, as they are as archaic and out of date as people who oppose same-sex relationships in the first place. I think that to start from a position of agreeing with them, and build an argument from there, is never going to work.

I think we need completely to move off enemy territory and define our own terms. Fighting to be let into an institution that is counter to one's beliefs in the first place is ridiculous. What part of marriage is important to same-sex couples? What is the function it serves that they wish to be a part of? Certainly they do not want to enter into an unequal partnership in which one 'owns' the other and is dominant over them in the eyes of the law. For that is what marriage is about, at least the Christian form of it. As the author mentioned, but didn't seem to believe, it is misogynous. The bride is 'given away' by her father to her new owner, her husband. Although few people, I hope, actively think that way today, that is still the basis of the ceremony.

In these enlightened times (har, har), however, marriage is about a long term commitment to your partner, and a recognition of that partnership by society and the law. That is a choice that all couples should have available, same-sex or not. In France, a type of 'civil union', the Pacte Civile de Solidarité (PACS) was introduced as a way for same-sex couples to marry, and has been nearly as popular among heterosexual couples. We have to acknowledge that we live in a secular democracy, and that a religious union should not be the only one recognised in law. There are many couples that want the formal commitment that marriage offers without the religious and historically unequal overtones. They should be allowed to make that choice.

That was my two cents worth for the day. Freedom of choice, people. That's what secular democracy is supposed to be about. Let's make it happen.

My life of indolence

I have had another of my periodical blogging urges, brought about primarily by an anonymous comment which offered tantalising evidence that someone actually reads this sort of rubbish. Being extremely reluctant to lose what little fame I have, therefore, I have decided to have another stab at spilling my guts to the world wide web. Pardon the violent imagery, it was simply the first thing to come to mind. Which could indicate a problem, I suppose, but I'd rather just move right along.

So. I believe my last post was a rather self-pitiful attempt to revive some childhood memories. Since then, I have been a busy man, or at least a well-traveled one. I made a small visit to the land of the long white cloud with my brother, and went on what was essentially a road trip with thirty other people in a bus. I have to say it was one of the best holidays I have ever had. Don't think I'm one of those generously made types who sits in a bus all day. There was camping and bike riding involved, to one degree or another. The one and only black mark against that beautiful island (south) was the legions of determined sandflies which seemed to find me (though, to be fair, not only me) absolutely delicious. On the other hand, they did give us something to talk about. I suppose I needed to complain just a little.

Now I just have to address that anonymous comment. Whoever you are, I hope you're enjoying the distress you are causing to my delicate grey matter. It's like knowing there is a surprise waiting, only worse because I'm not sure I'll ever find out what it is. It's an eternal surprise-to-be. On the other hand, it is sort of fun having a secret admirer.
You wrote of your scepticism about blogs. You are right, of course. At risk of losing your patronage, I have to agree that they are a complete waste of time, and most have nothing particularly useful to say (excepting instances such as that famous Iraqi blog, and other such). They do, however, serve as a useful outlet for the author, if that is what s/he wants, and some can provide idle amusement to Joe Bloggs (no pun intended) if he should happen to have a spare few minutes. At the least, they are harmless, as the web is, if not infinite, then practically so, and therefore they cannot be a waste of space.

So keep on reading me, my mysterious friend, if it provides any pleasure at all. Or just drop by and leave a comment every now and then even if you don't read the copy. I like to feel appreciated ;-).
In keeping with the general philosophy of a short post being a good post, this one is done, but I will certainly log on again before too long, no doubt when racked with insomnia and needing to offload, hopefully leading to a slightly less factually driven entry. Be seen by you then...